Window of Tolerance

The Ideal Emotional Zone

Emily Lupita

May 8

Welcome

Hello and welcome to Creativity for Caregivers. I’m glad you’re here.

How We’re Doing

The Brothers and I have been getting outside more often. I don’t have that many photos of me holding both of my boys at the same time. It’s getting a bit harder to do as they grow bigger and they don’t really stay still very long. But when I do get them together, I feel like they are my two wings, one of either side of me - lifting me up when I need it most. Also, these Superman t-shirts are the best.

Check-In

It’s time for our group check-in. Let us know how you’re doing.

If you want to simply raise your hand and say, “I’m here.” That’s okay, too. Do what feels best. [The Wheel of Emotions post has info on naming feelings.]

How are you doing?

The Window of Tolerance

Today’s creative self-care activity is to make our own “Window of Tolerance” sketch. Here’s a little about the window of tolerance from PyschCentral:

This concept was developed by Dan Siegel, MD, and refers to the ideal emotional zone that a person needs for optimal functioning. If you’re within your optimal tolerance zone, you feel grounded and can manage your emotions effectively.

Below is a graph I made to show the window (optimal tolerance) and the two sides: hypo and hyper-arousal. On the HYPO side, emotions like depression & exhaustion can occur. While on the HYPER side, emotions like anxiety and agitation can occur.

Of course, it’s different for each person as we all have different types of windows of different widths. And we all have different emotions wrapped up in the ‘curtains’ on either side. The key is to know our window well and how to stay standing in front of it - in the light.

Let’s use this black & white blank version of the window and curtains above. Grab a few colored pencils, your watercolors, some markers, highlighters…whatever you have within easy reach. Or use your phone / tablet’s “mark up” to digitally color.

What colors are your window and two curtains?
Write the emotions you have during Hypo and Hyper-arousal…and what emotions are evident when you are standing within the window of tolerance.
Feel free to draw yourself, your activities, pets, hobbies…whatever feels best.

How did this creative self-care activity make you feel? Let me know in the comments.

Lupita Artwork

My painting from today’s activity:

Lupita stands in front of the Window of Tolerance. She sways from side-to-side from time-to-time, but ultimately knows the most beautiful place is there in front, in the light.

What I’m Reading & Watching

Damian Lewis performs the poem “Everything is Going to be All Right” by Derek Mahon. Damian’s wife passed away and this performance is part of her memorial. (Forward to 56:31 for this poem - it’s an hour-long video. Well worth watching all the way through if you have time.)